President of What? Scarytown?

Now that I've exposed the reason why Mike Huckabee will never be President, I thought it prudent to continue my investigation on the chances of the various candidates in both parties as the thought occurs to me. And so, today, comes my second prediction. Rudy Giuilani will never be President because he looks too much like that guy Jack from The Nightmare before Christmas:



(I got this image from The Daily Show. If you haven't heard Jon Stewart's report on waterboarding, you can either click that link or just watch the full video below.)



The point of all this is that Rudy is just too damn scary looking. To sum up, we are not going to have a President with the name of a hog caller or one who looks like he's come to take your soul to the other side.

Sorry, Rudy. It's time to go back to playing chess with Max von Sydow.