Almost Free at Last

For the fifty-somethingth time in a long and varied career of supporting myself with jobs that really aren't worth taking the time to do, I find myself taking leave of my employment. The way it happened is this: My job is being consolidated, but I'm not. Actually, the company I'm working for is treating me just fine on my departure; I have no complaints. No lawsuits shall be forthcoming, no anonymous tips to an investigative reporter. They're giving me a small clump of money, and I am going away. Everybody's happy.

The funny thing about this to me so far has to do with the people I have notified of my departure who have not yet returned my email. This can be expected in these situations, but I always have to wonder why most people are so silent. Are they afraid of being unconsolidated as well in a kind of weird guilt by association? Is it the stench of failure, even though I feel a sense of accomplishment and liberation? (I should write more about that liberation thing and get it translated into Arabic for the benefit of all my fans in Baghdad.) Am I now considered one of the unclean? Are they afraid that I'll hit them up for money or a job? Or are they just jealous because they are still manacled to their desks while I get to experience the heady brew of freedom?

Who knows? Maybe it's a mixture, a sloe gin fizz of fear and resentment. Or maybe it's something I've yet to consider. Could be, could be!

The point really is that I've been given a small chance to better myself in this deal. My ejection from the world of corporate stooges comes just at the moment that I am pushing the show forward. Can this be a coincidence? Of course it can, but I'm not going to consider that for a second. The Fates are conspiring, and, for once, I'm getting in on the ground floor.

Next in the Series: The Update

The demo is being assembled. A sponsor is being pursued. Cryptic messages are being typed. A full-out assault is being made on the future. But don't let the future know. It's a sneak attack.

Try Kim Jong Il

According to this article posted on the Harper's Magazine website today, one of the "titles allegedly used by 'prominent leaders from 160 nations across the world' to refer to Kim Jong-Il" as reported by North Korean State Television is "Leader with Extraordinary Personality."

Apparently Kim's PR department is made up entirely of retirees from the 1943 staff of Batton, Barton, and Durston. Just as an experiment, let's run a couple of variations up the flagpole and see who salutes.

"Kim Jong Il: He's Personalilicous!"
"The Leader with Pep"
"He Puts the 'Tic' in Lunatic"

Of course, another of the "titles" given was "Eternal Bosom of Hot Love," which was also the title of an email that wound up in my bulk folder. Let's throw this notion into the mix.

"Kim Jong Il: Who Says He Can't Be Licked?"
"The Leader with Staying Power"
"Kim Jong Il: He's Your Daddy!"