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Wednesday, March 02, 2005

Post Script

Apparently the ending on the recently concluded series of posts, "The Adventure," was a bit sudden for the typical reader. The reason it stopped so suddenly is because that day is a blank to me. After I gassed up the Chevy Airbag, I kind of lost consciousness. However, my wife has pledged to help me reconstruct the events of that day so that I can write one more installment, one that will give America (or the most infinitesimal fraction thereof) the ending it craves.

20 comments:

Robert G. Margolis said...

I'm more of a sudden reader who eschews typical endings. But, sure, some folks want to know: did the guy really get the gal, how many miles did Odysseus' rent-a-car get to the gallon, and how did Odysseus convince his wife it was really he when he pulled into the driveway (having forgetten to get milk, again).
That sort of thing. Not like a certain recent Tale Told by a Tiresias, signifying nothing.

P.S. And some guy fictionally named "Chester Psalms" offers this advice: "Beware of 'recovered memories'."

Len said...

Well, Penelope does a pretty good job with the memory reconstruction assistance, fortunately. For instance, last night, she mentioned that I had lunch at the airport in Minneapolis on the way back and I remembered what it was and started remembering the circumstances surrounding it.

I have a friend who's a licensed hypnotherapist. I'd ask him to regress me, but I'm afraid I'd go back too far and disappear.

That it might be a piece about trying to recover the memories could be interesting. We'll see. We'll see.

Robert G. Margolis said...

Yes, that Penelope weaves during the day, and then unweaves during the night all that was woven during the day, would make her accomplished at such reconstruction. The Adventure's hero is home, but doesn't remember the last stage of the journey that he took to return home. Hence, he's not fully arrived "home", until his Penelope helps him remember.

...It worked for Homer.

Anonymous said...

Maybe you could just knock out quick description of a few major truths and life changing moments that came out of your trip and then sum it all up in a way that will simultaneously amuse and inspire the typical reader. Something like that ought to do the trick.

Al Beharound

Anonymous said...

LenZen,
A good quote always helps. You could also insert a parable demonstrating what you learned... you know, the big picture. I actually liked the whole thang as is but if you can dredge the remaining brain cells I'll read that too.
- Freaky Ezekiel

Robert G. Margolis said...

Yes, like, for example, the famous saying of good fortune: "The journey of a thousand infrequent flyer miles begins with a single misstep." And there's the Chuang Tzu parable about Thing Wan and Thing Tu that teaches us why when the Duke's away, the Confuciusists will pay.

Len said...

I wanted it to be in nine parts, just like a martini. I guess the clever phrase could be "Hare today, goon tomorrow." Or maybe not. How about "I put the litter in literature"? Now, that has promise.

Robert G. Margolis said...

As it is, you've given us the "shaken not stirred" version, which befits its 'international man of mystery on a budget' feel. And too many parts could make it difficult to assemble or to adapt for the stage. That last line is a good one; easily the equal of anything S. J. Perelman's cat dragged in and left in the literature box.

Anonymous said...

Just as long as you don't put the mean in meaning.

Dr. Love

Len said...

Oddly enough, Perelman was known for the endless variety of euphemisms he employed for excsuing himself to use the men's room, one of which was "going to use the sandbox." I've employed this euphemism myself, always to good laughs.

I'm hoping I didn't put the "me" in "mean," unless it's the Golden Mean. I wish I had put it in 'Dr. Me," but Phil Somebody-or-Other did that, for which I'll be eternally grateful.

Cat Ballou-Average

Anonymous said...

Just don't excuse yourself to go liquidate some assets. And where does today come before yesterday?
Just as long as you don't put the Herm in hermaphrodite.

H. Melville

Len said...

Where does today come before yesterday? Is that like "How many Frenchmen can never be wrong?"

And, although I am not responsible (park and lock it!) for the Herm, I will, on occasion while drinking, claim to have put the Her-Her in Herman's Hermits.

I. Noah Riddle

Anonymous said...

I'm going to go with eleven on the Frenchmen and the troll under the bridge said the answer to the other one, of course, is "in the dictionary." Zounds! For some reason, I just couldn't think of it so I had to let him eat my goat. The dictionary is where I'm going right now to look up "wraith"-to me it sounds sort of feminine. I just got a notice from ft.com that your tale is now there too, eh? Very nice. I hear Chaucer is also considering including it in his new anthology called "Beyond Canterbury: What's Happening!" This could be your break.

Len said...

I promise to remember all the little people when I make it big. People like Billy Barty and the King of Liliput.

Robert G. Margolis said...

Leonard J.,

Yes, congratulations on your latest link in the chainlink fence between the haves and the have-nots. Can the "missing link" of success be that far off?

Curiously, on the other side, your traveler's tale is refered to as "behind-the-8-ball diary of the tour", which, typical reader that I sometimes am, implies you were simultaneously on the tour and touring while, actually, you were not on the tour, but rather following Rent-a-Homer's budget Odyssey day-for-night package. This almost makes me want to write my own narrative of what I was doing while I wasn't there or anywhere near the tour or its tourists...

Len said...

Robert, I agree. The "Tour Diary" attribution is misleading. It's more of a schnook-on-a-schlep-recovered-memoir. I'm sure there have been one or two visitors who have come expecting some sort of backstage expose', fruity with dialogue such as:

"'Are your going to finish your sandwich?' Bergman sneered. 'I'm still hungry.'

'Go right ahead,' Proctor lashed out. 'I'm full.'

Bergman surveyed him with contempt. 'Thank you,' he said, venom dripping from each syllable.

'You're welcome,' came the curt reply."

I, of course, have no such tales, still being only a part of the teeming masses. But once I'm on the inside--Kitty Kelley, watch out!

Robert G. Margolis said...

Ah, Len, now that's more like it. If I close my eyes, it's almost like you were there. It's the kind of thing one might read about in Rolling Stone. From my own sporadic reading, I know there have been some doozies of backstage sandwich fights; the one, between Mick Jagger and Keith Richards, backstage at Altamont, that ultimately led to the Hells Angels' murder of an audience member, is perhaps the most notorious.

I encourage you to dish more, especially if you've got anything juicy from the 5th crazy guy, who is rumored to attend every show.

Len said...

Just ofr the record:

1 a : the exact likeness of a living person seen usually just before death as an apparition b : GHOST, SPECTER
2 : an insubstantial form or semblance : SHADOW
3 : a barely visible gaseous or vaporous column
- wraith·like /-"lIk/ adjective

Miriam Webstar

Len said...

Just again for the record, that was the definition of "wraith." Also, I am not conjecturing that anyone conforms to the third definition, even after the injection of a Mexican meal.

Anonymous said...

I'm pretty comfortable now. I was just worried that it was one of those flowery, woven circles that you hang on your door, which was a bit too sissy for a manly man like me. But I like the idea of being a specter, what with the wall of sound and all. That is totally cool.

Andy Strong